Real Questions, Real Answers about Sex by Melissa McBurney

Author:Melissa McBurney
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Tags: Array
Publisher: Zondervan

Q & A

WHY DOES HE WAIT TO EJACULATE?

My husband can’t climax until after we have sex. I don’t want to make the problem worse by complaining about it, but his failure to ejaculate inside me makes me feel unappealing. The doctors say the problem is psychological, but my husband resents the idea that he should see a therapist. Our marriage is great otherwise, but I’m frustrated about this. What should I do?

Louis: I assume your doctor has ruled out physical causes of delayed ejaculation, such as neurovascular disorders or drug side effects. I’m also assuming your husband has had this problem for a long time. You say your marriage is great otherwise, so I’m thinking, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

If your husband doesn’t resist sex, is sensitive to your sexual needs, and can lovingly bring you to orgasm, I don’t think the problem has anything to do with your attractiveness. Rather, the most common causes of this disorder are psychological and may include:

A compulsive personality, marked by the need to control

Anxieties about cleanliness

Fear of getting someone pregnant

A deep-seated ambivalence toward women

Intravaginal ejaculation is not necessarily evidence of commitment, attraction, passion, or love. Stimulation to climax can be mutually satisfying with a variety of techniques. If you find orgasm more intense and complete during penetration, then continue that. Follow it up by stimulating your husband to ejaculation.

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